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August 17, 2011

Resiliency: Factors that Matter

Written by Dr. Carosso

Why is it that some show resilience and bounce-back from bouts of depression, anxiety, and terrible life circumstances, while others continue to struggle? That’s an age-old question with no easy answers, but there are some factors that count. Lets take a look:

Impervious insight
It’s vital to recognize that we have a problem, a realistic sense from where our problem originates, and that our problem needs to somehow be managed. Those who have such an understanding (insight) are usually more motivated to take responsibility for their problem and make changes. Oh, that reminds me of the next factor…

Miraculous motivation
It’s vital to want change, and be willing to move toward altering one’s lifestyle to live in a healthier fashion.   Those who are motivated are, by definition, more energized and focused.

Maximum extraction
It’s amazing how some people, no matter how horrible their situation, find ways to compensate, rebound, and rise above their circumstances. I’ve seen this capacity in adults and kids alike. Some refer to this as the ‘ability to extract’ that refers to the ability to pull, from one’s environment, the strength and fortitude to move forward. These heroic individuals are able to extract strength from any healthy person with whom they have contact (a coach, neighbor, teacher, relative…); they see their glass as half-full, and see the silver linings in the darkest of clouds. God has blessed these people with such a capacity, and they ultimately move forward, and prove to be a blessing to others.

Heavenly help
Resilient individuals have a broader, more meaningful perspective of the world, above their own personal problems.  I’ve worked with a host of children who gain substantial comfort from knowing they’re not alone and that the Almighty Creator, who has the universe in His hands, won’t let go of theirs.

Ask and you shall receive
Those who bounce-back find somebody to bounce off of. They recognize that they need help, and that two can accomplish more than twice as much as one. They ask for help; could be from a friend, relative, teacher, or neighbor, but sometimes it needs to come from a professional, and they’re okay with that. Resilient people seek the counsel of others, and remain open to guidance.     

The family factor
Of course, it’s easier to ask for help if you feel you have a supportive family. However, those who fare better have families members who have good personal boundaries (mind their own business but are available when needed), avoid undue drama, and are loyal.

From where, and how do I instill?
You may be asking ‘how do I get these qualities?’ or ‘how do I instill these attributes into my children’? I’ll elaborate on those questions in future posts. In the meantime, keep in mind that these factors are simply ‘mind-sets’; that you can choose to embrace at any time.  Moreover, daily you teach your kids these qualities by how you handle problems. However, it’s less by what you say, and more by what you do. Remember the old saying ‘what you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say.’

God bless. If you found this helpful, feel free to forward to a friend.

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