The Steps to Improving Your Child’s Behavior
There is a formula to child discipline. If you follow the recipe, the outcome is very predictable in a positive way. Children expect parents to behave in a particular manner; when they do, they tend to respond accordingly in terms of being more manageable, respectful, calmer, and grateful. When parents don’t follow the recipe, children also tend to respond accordingly but with belligerence, a sense of entitlement, being more confrontational, and stronger-willed.
So, What’s the Formula?
Your relationship with your child is the foundation to, well, just about everything you want to accomplish. In the absence of a good relationship, discipline and behavior will suffer. Once that is established, you can move toward the following step-by-step approach to improve the child's behavior. Those steps involve projecting a sense of control, avoiding arguments/emotion, being firm and consistent, planning ahead and rather than reactive, avoiding distractions, using emotion in a positive way, effectively stating how you feel and avoiding negative labeling, modeling effective problem-solving, picking your battles, and finally a bonus section on how to reason with your teen. We’ll review each and provide helpful teaching videos.
Discipline is Based on a Relationship
Beyond any simple step or formula, the most important element of a well-behaved child is the relationship. It’s vital to remember that discipline is based on the word “disciple” which is a willing and devoted follower. For instance, we want our kids following out of respect and a sense of camaraderie, not a fear of punishment. We accomplish that by building up the relationship with our child. How? By spending time with them, having fun, helping with homework (and sometimes chores too), listening, talking, and ‘just being there’. Ultimately, there is nothing more powerful in promoting discipline than having a strong relationship with your child.
You will find many informative videos and can read the eBook here.
For more parenting resources, or to set an appointment, check out the Community Psychiatric Centers' website. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions at DrCarosso@aol.com.
