Written by Dr. Carosso
Okay, here it goes; whether your child is a typical kiddo or struggles with attention, learning, social, or developmental issues, these strategies will help any child perform at his or her best. These strategies are well-founded in research and over 20 years experience in clinical and educational practice.
Let’s get to it:
Billboard your child’s strengths
Go overboard to inform teachers, and remind them regularly, of your child’s strengths. Send notes and emails, write in a daily log, leave phone messages, yell if from the roof-top, send smoke signals, and do whatever else it takes to establish and maintain the teacher’s positive impression of your child. Over 10 years of research is abundantly clear that teacher’s preconceived notions about a student, whether good or bad, even if untrue, tend to come to pass. For example, students who are described as smarter (even if they’re not) subsequently score higher on tests; students who are described as social and cooperative (even if they’re not) later do better socially, and on and on it goes… I’m not suggesting that you mislead, but simply ‘talk-up’ your child’s strengths:)
Power-sitting
Make sure your child is seated in the ‘Attention Zone’ of the classroom (i.e. the triangle-shaped area with the base of the triangle being the front row of the class). Students seated in this triangle area receive more eye contact, oversight, monitoring, and attention than anywhere else in the classroom. These students subsequently tend to score higher, and feel more supported.
The classroom stepping-machine
Look for teachers who wear running shoes (or buy the teacher running shoes). There is an inverse correlation between the number of steps a teacher takes throughout a classroom and the subsequent behavior problems in the class. The more steps, the less behavior problems (and more academic success!). Kids do better when an adult frequently passes by.
The break that keeps on giving
Okay, we know that kiddos need breaks throughout the day, but these breaks need to involve movement; at least a brisk walk if not vigorous running for at least five minutes; and be offered two or three times per day (sometimes more; e.g. for kids who have ADHD). Thereafter, students are more attentive, cooperative, and interested in learning. Moreover, walking in a green-space area has shown to be far superior than a gray-space for subsequent attention to task and achievement.
Fill-er-up
Kids want attention. Okay, I know, that’s no revelation. However, what isn’t so well known are these two points, 1.) kids want their ‘attention-tank’ to be full, but they are not particular with what, or how, it gets full. Students will seek attention negatively if teachers don’t give it positively. So, for every negative redirection, there needs to be at least 10 praises (“catch them being good…”). This way, your child can focus on learning, not getting attention, and feel confident in doing so. 2.) Research shows that kids do better if praised about their hard work, rather than their intelligence. The former can be improved, the latter ends-up being an expectation that increases pressure and stress, and has actually been shown to cause grades to drop.
Your child will be happier, more successful, and confident when these strategies are used (maybe they can be used at home too:) Each needs to be tailored to your child, but you get the idea. You only have so much control over what the teacher will do in the classroom, but now you know what needs to be done. Stay tuned; I’ll provide some more tips in weeks to come. In the meantime, feel free ask questions, comment, and forward this to a friend (or maybe to a certain teacher…). God bless.
Written by Dr. Carosso
In the autism community, parents must sift through a host of confusing, murky, and contradictory words, terms, and concepts. It’s no wonder there is frustration and misunderstanding. Hopefully this post will help to clear the waters a bit.
In a prior posting (autism: facts and fallacies), I discussed that “autism” is not a diagnosis, but simply a term that represents the ‘autism spectrum’. However, that begs the question; what is the autism spectrum?
Okay, I suppose we’re all aware that the ‘spectrum’ reflects that any child with autism may ‘look’ quite different from another. One child may be nonverbal, while another may be fully conversational but with some social quirks. However, how does that relate to the actual diagnosis any given child on the “spectrum” might get from a doctor?
Okay, here goes an explanation, for better or worse:)
The three most commonly used diagnoses for a child on the autism spectrum are:
Autistic Disorder………….Pervasive Developmental Disorder NOS………….Asperger’s Disorder
More Severe Less Severe
I know it’s not perfect, and many of you will see shortcomings (as do I), but I find it helpful to view these three diagnoses as reflective of the “spectrum” we hear so much about.
At the far end of the spectrum is ‘Autistic Disorder’, which is how we tend to perceive classic ‘autism’ such as what was seen in the movie “Rain Man.” These kids tend to have more significant social and language difficulties.
At the other end of the spectrum is ‘Asperger’s Disorder; kids who are conversational but have social problems and tend to obsess on things.
For those kiddos who do not meet the diagnostic criteria of those two extremes, we have the diagnosis of ‘Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified’, or PDDNOS, or simply PDD. These kids show signs of ‘autism’ but have strengths and differences that exclude an ‘Autistic Disorder’ or ‘Aspergers’ diagnosis. For example, they may be quite social and talkative, but don’t always “know what to do” in social situations. These children may also speak mostly in short phrases, which precludes an Asperger’s diagnosis.
Clearly, PDD is the fastest growing diagnosis on the spectrum, likely for a bunch of reasons including we (professionals) are more aware of the condition than 10 years ago, and that the rates seem to be genuinely increasing for reasons we’re still exploring, e.g. vaccinations, genetics, toxins…
Understanding the ‘spectrum’ helps in many ways including appreciating the extent to which your child will improve and recover. For example, it’s not entirely uncommon for children at the upper PDD range, or upper Asperger’s range, to demonstrate wonderful progress and, down the line, recover and no longer need services. In fact, I’ve seen two discharges from services in just the past month, which further reminds us of the potential for very positive outcomes:)
However, even kids who are diagnosed with Autistic Disorder can, and do, show lots of progress but it’s more likely they will have some ongoing deficits.
Well, hope that helped in understanding the ’spectrum’. I know there are still lots of questions, so feel free to comment and I’ll follow-up. If you found this helpful, please forward to a friend. Thanks.
Written by Dr. Robert Lowenstein MD
I often get questions by parents who prefer not to have their children prescribed a stimulant medication for ADHD. They ask whether there are alternatives to help reduce their child’s symptoms of inattention, over activity, impulsiveness, lack of focus, and irritability.
The gold standard for the treatment of ADHD symptoms has been a combination of stimulant medication and behavioral treatment, that have been proven to be the most effective by many research studies over the past 70 years. However, the answer is that there are complementary and alternative biomedical (CAM) treatments for ADHD, which might be helpful. The scientific evidence for their effectiveness varies, and none should be tried without close collaboration with a physician or child psychiatrist to both confirm that a child truly has ADHD and to closely monitor their use for safety.
The alternatives that might be worth a try, despite lack of scientific study, include use of (1) Essential fatty acid supplementation (EPA, DHA, and GLA) or Omega-3 fatty acids, which can have other health benefits for the heart and brain. (2) RDI/RDA multivitamin supplementation could also be useful for children with appetite loss caused by use of a stimulant medication or children who are picky eaters; (3) Mineral supplementation (iron, zinc, magnesium) after their deficiency is proven; and (4) Food Elimination diets (sugars, and dyes especially) which have had some reported value. Other alternative treatments which might be of some benefit include (5) DMAE for milder forms of ADHD; (6) Carnitine, for inattention, and (7) Micronutrient supplementation to lower moodiness, and disruptiveness in children with ADHD.
All of these may in themselves have unwanted side effects. So, whatever is tried, close supervision by a child psychiatrist or pediatrician is required.
I welcome your feed back and personal experience with any of these.
Written by Dr. Carosso:
As parents, we expect kids to follow directions when told to do so, and that our child will do so immediately. Oh, that it would be so. To our despair, it’s not, and likely shall never be.
That’s the important point; kids are not automatons (or at least mine aren’t) – oh that it would be so:).
I tell parents that we don’t expect a table or chair to move immediately on our command; so why do we expect our kids, who have their own agendas, wants, and distractions, to immediately follow our direction with a sense of urgency?
In fact, we might have better luck with that wooden table.
So, should we simply give-up? Okay. Well, maybe not. Instead, how about changing our expectations and, in doing so, lower our blood pressure.
Recognize that kids often need that ‘softer and closer’ approach (see former blog on that subject) and a physical prompt (gently guiding them in the right direction) and getting them started on the task. Helping them begin the chore also helps.
It helps to back-up our direction with firm consequences, and soft-spoken reminders of rewards that can be earned, and privileges that will be lost.
However, to our avail, we as parents tend to rely on pestering with an ever-increasing volume. This approach is the least favorable, and results in the most frustration and bad-feelings for all involved.
Remember, as parents, emotion and words are your enemy, while a softer and closer approach, and clearly explained expectations and consequences, is your friend.
Rely on consequences and action, not pestering. After you've explained expectations and consequences (i.e. rewards and punishments), one time, then you've said enough; time to be quiet and follow-through.
Try it, you’ll like it. Now, go get softer and closer with your kids.
If you liked this, forward to a friend:)
Written by Dr. Carosso
It’s fascinating how parents have such a difficult time with their children’s sleep. Kids won’t go to bed, can’t fall asleep, won’t stay asleep, won’t sleep alone, want a drink or snack, awaken and get in the parent’s bed, sleep walk, or have night terrors. Parents typically find themselves awake at 2:00 AM with their child, sleeping with their child, and bleary-eyed the following morning. What is a parent to do?
Fortunately, there are answers.
First, to the extent that we can imagine, lets think back to the ‘good old days’ before electricity. As far as we can tell, people spent daylight hours out-of-doors in ‘real’ light. As evening approached, light slowly dissipated and the family ventured in-doors, with low light thru candles or a lantern, and the family environment calmed and quieted before bed. The process of going to sleep actually took place over a period of hours in a gradual, natural, and unencumbered manner.
Compare this pleasant and sleep-inducing process to what our kids experience in these modern times. It’s a wonder that any of us sleep. We are exposed to unnatural light during the day (light bulbs), way too much light at night, we’re over-stimulated by television and videos, and it’s typically only exhaustion that finally overtakes these sleep-inhibitors.
Here are some helpful sleep tips:
-Get your child up early, on-time, in the morning. No nap during the day unless you find a 15 minute nap is helpful (children should be done napping by four or five years of age).
-Get your child exposed to outdoor light during the day.
-Activity and exercise is vital.
-Create a calming effect as evening approaches, turning down the lights, TV, and computers; reduce stimulation.
-Maintain a consistent bedtime routine complete with warm bath and warm milk.
-Quiet time should precede bedtime, then move to night-time prayers (asking Jesus for a good rest and fun dreams) and reading a bedtime story.
-Some children respond favorably to one to three milligrams of melatonin an hour before bedtime as directed by the child's pediatrician.
Going to sleep is a process, not an event. Implement these strategies and see the difference. Pleasant dreams.
By the way, if you liked this, subscribe and forward to a friend. God bless.
Written by Dr. Carosso
When we think of behavior management, we tend to think of time-honored strategies such as time-out, loss of privilege, or "grounding" a child. We tend to think of "behavior management" as how a child's behavior will be managed.
Instead, we may be better-off to think of behavior management of how the parent or caregiver is going to "manage" their own behavior that will hopefully have a positive impact on their child. It could be said that a child's behavior, whether good or problematic, is a response to the parent's behavior and actions. Therefore, we may be more effective if we focus on our own behavior.
That means focusing on what we say, how we say it, how consistent we are, the relationship we have with our child, how often we praise, and how we model effective problem-solving, all of which has a profound effect on the child's behavior.
Consequently, as a parent, it may be helpful to think of "behavior management" in terms of how you are going to manage your own behavior, and adjust your responses to your child's behavior, to promote harmony within the family home.
Remember, you may have more success focusing on how you’ll change your own behavior, which will then have a positive impact on your child.
I'll be writing more in the days to come about how parents can "manage" their behavior to produce a positive outcome in their child's behavior. Stay tuned. If you found this to be helpful, forward to a friend and subscribe. God bless.
Written by Dr. Carosso
Parents are often directed by professionals like me to provide "structure" for their child, which is said to be a benefit to the child's overall development. However, do you know what "structure" means? This often-used term is usually misunderstood and trying to define precisely what professionals mean when they say "structure" is often tough to pin-down.
Okay, so here goes my try at it: one way to perceive "structure" is to compare the term with a "building" or “house” within which there are walls, doors, windows, and other "boundaries" that show us where and how we can go. Walls stop us in our tracks (no one likes to walk into a wall), while windows and doors provide fresh air and a way out.
In the same way, limit-setting by parents provides "walls" that stop children from problematic behavior that could cause them harm. Doors would be those parent-provided openings for potential freedoms (when the door is open). The younger the child, typically the more there are "walls" and "doors."
'Structures', such as our home, provide a sense of security for kids and parents alike. However, by the same token, at times those same walls and doors can make us feel "claustrophobic", which necessitates time for going outside away from those confines of walls and doors.
In a similar manner, at times, limit-setting needs to be reduced and children need to be provided freedom (especially as they grow older); a balanced approach to providing structure (limit-setting) and going outside (freedom) is vital. Moreover, as a child grows older, the walls tend to come down, and doors open, so long as the youth is responsible, trustworthy, and maturely handling the increased levels of freedom.
The complexity of parenthood is maintaining that proper balance between walls, doors, windows, and being outside (so to speak).
In future blogs, I will be presenting on how to set limits (put up walls) in a manner that elicits a willing response from your child, as opposed to your child attempting to put holes in the walls, either figuratively or literally:)
If you found this helpful, subscribe and forward to a friend. God bless.
Written by Dr. Carosso
Children with autism invariably demonstrate what are called ‘self-stimulatory behaviors’. These are compulsive rituals and behaviors that can be quite challenging to squelch, including hand-flapping, rocking, jumping, squealing, pacing, echoing, and obsessing. To manage these behaviors, parents must first realize that we all ‘self-stimulate’ to one degree or another; hopefully we do so in more socially acceptable ways. Take a look around you, and you’ll see finger, pencil, and foot-tapping, pacing, biting fingernails, chewing on a pencil, rocking in a rocking chair… These are outlets for our anxiety and energy. It’s also important to note that, equally often, these behaviors tend to be self-soothing as opposed to stimulating. So, with those considerations in mind; here’s what to do:
I trust you’ll find these strategies to be effective. Please provide some feedback regarding what you’ve found to be helpful. Also, feel free to ask any questions and don’t forget to subscribe to regularly receive our posts the emails. Also, if you found this helpful, why not forward to a friend. God bless.
