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Written by Dr. John Carosso
Gotta earn it: the power
The fact is that, for the most part, self-esteem cannot be given, it has to be earned. We earn a positive feeling about ourselves largely because we have accomplished meaningful things over the course of any given day or week. What is “meaningful”?; well, our kids and I often intuitively know the answer to that question. Playing video games all day and reaching level 10 is an accomplishment, but kids and parents alike know that it’s not an especially meaningful achievement.
The process is as important as the outcome
Consequently, we emphasize achievement, even the process of working toward achievement, every chance we get. We want our kids to know, in no uncertain terms, that life is about completing certain tasks, doing them well, and feeling good about it. This could mean getting ready for school, doing homework, raking the leaves, throwing a baseball with better mechanics, or helping a friend with a chore. The process is just as important as the outcome; working hard to achieve a goal, even if your child faces “failures” along the way, is what it’s all about (they won’t see it that way, but you can help them to see it that way).
Strengths, passions, and aspirations
Discover your child’s interests, passions, strengths, and aspirations, then go to work! Get them involved in clubs, activities, sports, and/or working directly with you in working toward building on those strengths. It’s vital that even the smallest improvement or accomplishment is seen for what it is; a super important achievement.
Bolstering self-esteem bolsters self-confidence
The idea is that your child, at bedtime, can look back on his or her day and see what has been accomplished, and feel proud and good about themselves. This is how our kids grow not only in self-esteem, but in self-confidence to take-on ever-increasing challenges in the years ahead.
Hope that helps to highlight the importance of achievement in the development of self-esteem and self-confidence. God bless.
Dr. C's Morning Minute
View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part III, The Power of Achievement' for more information about this topic by clicking here.
See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our Video Blog Page
Written by Dr. John Carosso
Where we left off
We had discussed, in Part I, the importance of your child’s relationship with God in enhancing his or her self-esteem. Next we move-on to the most important person in your child’s life.
So, who is that most important person?
Well, it’s you. Yes, go figure; you’re far and away the most important person in your child’s life. No one else even comes close.
Birds of feather…
We often hear the term ‘birds of a feather flock together’ and we know what it means. However, I’m using it a bit differently here. We can gain prestige via with whom we associate. If your child perceives you as super-valuable and esteemed, and you’re taking time out of your busy schedule to hang-out with him or her, then what does that say about him or her?
Take the time
Spending time with your child, whether teaching how to better-throw a ball, helping to get dressed in the morning, playing a board-game, or just going for a walk is like a fuel-tank pouring gasoline, under high pressure, into your child’s esteem-tank. Even better, it makes you feel pretty good too. God bless.
Two more to go
That’s the second of the four keys to enhancing self-esteem. Two more to go!
Dr. C's Morning Minute
View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part II, Relationship with You' for more information about this topic by clicking here.
See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our Video Blog Page
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Written by Dr. John Carosso
Parents often express concerns to me about their child’s apparent lack of self-esteem. I’ve found the process of bolstering a child’s self-concept to be a four-step process; these four steps include your child’s relationship with God, relationship with you (the parent), achievement, and the words you use. I’ll explain each over the next four posts.
Where it all starts
I suppose it’s only fitting to begin this discussion, of bolstering your child’s self-esteem, with the One with whom it all began, our Heavenly Father. I’ve found that it’s incredibly heartening for your child to be taught and often-reminded that our All-Powerful God and the Creator of the universe has called them by name, adopted them into His family, is guiding by the hand, loves and cares for them more than words can say, has a specific plan for their life, and will see that plan through to fruition.
Hard to feel down…
It’s kinda tough to feel down in the dumps when placed in such a high position of being a child of God. A strong spiritual walk and understanding also helps to put things into perspective, give a reason and purpose to life, an understanding of the future and death, and can be a calming and reassuring influence. It’s no accident that research consistently shows that those who have a strong spiritual walk tend to be happier, more content, and less prone toward depression and anxiety.
That’s the first step
Okay, I hope you found this first step to bolstering your child’s self-esteem to be helpful. I’ll cover the next three over the next three posts. In the meantime, I think you know what you can be doing with your kiddo 😉
Dr. C's Morning Minute
View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part I, Relationship with God' for more information about this topic by clicking here.
See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our Video Blog Page
Today, in part 3 of my 4 part series, let's talk about bolstering your child's self-esteem by helping them earn (more…)
