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Written by Dr. John Carosso
Good Tidings…
The Christmas Holiday is magical; a wonderful time of year that spreads warm feelings and cheer in families and communities throughout the world. The celebration is well deserved, and we all tend to look forward to this very special time of year.
But…
Yea, there is a ‘but’ for many parents with kiddos struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as ADHD and autism. In those homes, the hectic and often-times over-stimulating nature of this holiday season can bring about all sorts of behaviors, meltdowns, over-activity, and fixations.
Father (and mother) knows best
First, remember that you know your child best. Given the frequent changes in routine during the holiday season, you know whether your child fixates on the routine and it’s best to not convey the daily schedule till the last minute, or if your child thrives on knowing the routine in advance and finds the information to be comforting. You also know whether it’s best to do all the decorations quickly, all at once, or if your child responds better to a slower approach.
Shopping
You have shopped enough with your child to know the best approach. The challenge during the Season is that these shopping trips are usually a bit longer so it’s even more important to take breaks, have fun items to keep your kiddo’s busy, and work your way into each store a bit slower than usual. Some kiddo’s respond well to headphones and darker tinted glasses. Give lots of praise and kuddo's along the way.
Keeping the schedule
During the holidays, the daily routine that you’ve worked so hard to maintain with consistency usually becomes more unpredictable and varied. Social stories, schedules and visual schedules, and reminders, can be very helpful. However, again, when you convey the information will vary from child to child.
Gifts and Toys
It can be helpful to wait until the last minute to arrange the gifts under the tree, given the temptation your child may face to open ahead of time. However, again, you know your child best and some find it very pleasant to see the presents and would not dare open any until the designated time. Also, with that in mind, turn-taking to open presents can be coordinated by passing an ornament to whoever's turn it may be to open a present. Offering a quiet, out-of-the-way place for your kiddo to play with his new toys may also be helpful to avoid grabbing at other’s toys, becoming overly upset if somebody touches his toys, and causing disruption.
Some other tips
If your child has food sensitivities or is very finicky, you may want to bring some food and bring it along to Aunt Jennie’s house for the celebration. Also, before arriving, it may also help to show your kiddo pictures of who will be there, and what to expect every step of the way. Sometime children respond better if they gradually mix-in with the crowd as opposed to all at once; and provide a ‘safe-haven’ if it become too overwhelming. You’re the best judge of how much your child can tolerate, so you’ll be keeping a watchful-eye, and intervening when necessary. Also, regarding the family, prepare them for what to expect from your kiddo and how they can help the situation rather than make it worse.
Don’t miss the Season
These were just a few tips to consider during this Christmas season. Most importantly; enjoy this time with your children, family, and friends. Relish these opportunities no matter how chaotic or stressful they may become at times. In years ahead, you’ll look back and miss these days. Don’t miss them now. God bless you and your family during this blessed Christmas Season.
Dr. C's Morning Minute
View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Preparing Your Child for the Christmas & Holiday Season' for more information about this topic by clicking here.
See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our Video Blog Page
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Written by Dr. John Carosso
The parent’s balancing act
As parents, we want give our kids lots of kudos and praise, but we also want to be realistic and help our children to have an accurate self-appraisal so, ten years from now, they don’t end-up on American Idol making a fool of themselves because they think they have a particular talent when they don’t.
Best picture you’ve ever seen…?
So your child proudly shows you a picture and is seeking your feedback. You notice that the picture is ‘okay’; no work of art compared to what other kids his or her age would produce. You could say that this is the best picture you’ve ever seen and you love it but, if you keep that up, you’re looking at a future American Idol moment.
What to do instead
You can, and should, always find something positive to enthusiastically praise. It may be the bright blue sky in the picture, or a cute smiley face in the sun. It may be the obvious effort your child put into making the picture (you can, and should, always praise effort, no matter the outcome). You can also praise your child for even minor progress in any one step along the way of completing or mastering a task. No matter the need for improvement, you’re going to give tons of praise for that small improvement. Always find something to praise before offering ‘constructive criticism’. In fact, give at least 5 praises for each constructive criticism.
The power of words
It’s vital to be affirming, positive, enthusiastic, and praising in our comments to our kids. See my prior post ‘The Recipe for Ruining a Perfectly Good Kid’ for more on how our words can damage. However, we’re going to avoid that by always finding something to praise before we critique, and giving lots of kuddos for effort. This way, you can be guaranteed to bolster, not deflate, your child’s self-esteem. God bless.
Dr. C's Morning Minute
View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part IV, The Words We Use' for more information about this topic by clicking here.
See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our Video Blog Page
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