Written by Dr. John Carosso
Gotta earn it: the power
The fact is that, for the most part, self-esteem cannot be given, it has to be earned. We earn a positive feeling about ourselves largely because we have accomplished meaningful things over the course of any given day or week. What is “meaningful”?; well, our kids and I often intuitively know the answer to that question. Playing video games all day and reaching level 10 is an accomplishment, but kids and parents alike know that it’s not an especially meaningful achievement.
The process is as important as the outcome
Consequently, we emphasize achievement, even the process of working toward achievement, every chance we get. We want our kids to know, in no uncertain terms, that life is about completing certain tasks, doing them well, and feeling good about it. This could mean getting ready for school, doing homework, raking the leaves, throwing a baseball with better mechanics, or helping a friend with a chore. The process is just as important as the outcome; working hard to achieve a goal, even if your child faces “failures” along the way, is what it’s all about (they won’t see it that way, but you can help them to see it that way).
Strengths, passions, and aspirations
Discover your child’s interests, passions, strengths, and aspirations, then go to work! Get them involved in clubs, activities, sports, and/or working directly with you in working toward building on those strengths. It’s vital that even the smallest improvement or accomplishment is seen for what it is; a super important achievement.
Bolstering self-esteem bolsters self-confidence
The idea is that your child, at bedtime, can look back on his or her day and see what has been accomplished, and feel proud and good about themselves. This is how our kids grow not only in self-esteem, but in self-confidence to take-on ever-increasing challenges in the years ahead.
Hope that helps to highlight the importance of achievement in the development of self-esteem and self-confidence. God bless.
Dr. C's Morning Minute
View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part III, The Power of Achievement' for more information about this topic by clicking here.
See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our Video Blog Page